Auntie Val's Formula 1 Preview

Roy! ROY! What is that awful noise? I'm trying to do my crossword! Oh, it's those bloody cars again. Is that dishy British lad still there? Not crashed yet? Buttons, yeah I like him. I don't mind the racing cars on a Sunday. It's a bit boring though. I prefer a book.

Wayne Rooney Can Only Raise Weary Half-Smile to Latest Volley of Sycophancy