Terry, Bridge "Must Throw Down" to Resolve Conflict

LONDON, UK - Following lurid tabloid revelations about John Terry's affair with Wayne Bridge's ex-girlfriend. the animosity between the pair has been well publicised, with Bridge even claiming he would not be a part of a World Cup squad captained by Terry.

England boss Fabio Capello returns from holiday this Thursday, and will have the final word on whether Terry remains as captain. Neutral observers, however are already making noises that stripping Terry of the armband will not resolve the debate. "Even if he's not captain any more, this lingering resentment and tension is going to persist", claimed Professor Charles Woodcock, head of Sports Psychology at the University of Essex. "Likewise, if Wayne Bridge refuses to play in the team again, those team-mates that support him will turn on John Terry and further inflame the situation."

Woodcock feels that there is only one solution to a row that is threatening to spiral out of control. "Bridge and Terry need to lose the jackets, step into the car park and settle this like men." The esteemed sports psychologist then added "Winner takes all. Let's finish this."

Whilst Woodcock's suggestion may appear extreme, it has been effective when used secretly by teams before, in an effort to resolve public disputes. Following Lee Bowyer and Kieron Dyer's infamous on-field spat, the then Newcastle boss Glenn Roeder ordered both players to strip to the waist in the locker room and brawl it out. Bowyer's scrappy, ungainly style surprisingly won out, and the issue was resolved.

"These two guys can carry out a long-winded public slanging match that will damage the team's World Cup chances" concluded Woodcock, "but they need to face reality. This is about a girl. There's only way to stop this. It's time to throw down. Unless perhaps, one of them is scared."